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[07 Dec 2009|11:06pm] |
why is it so hard for people to be HONEST?
I don't understand.
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[07 Dec 2009|01:12am] |
Cause I've been feeling sentimental for days gone by
All those summers singing, drinking, laughin', wasting our time
Remember all those songs and the way we smiled
In those basements made of music?
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[06 Dec 2009|11:03am] |
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I need to stop expecting so much from people and getting my hopes up.
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[29 Nov 2009|08:56pm] |
these have been the greatest like, 8 days in a really long time.
I had a blast when my parents were gone. missed them of course, but being able to do whatever the fuck I want and coming home whenever the fuck I want/not coming home at all was great. I wish I could have videotaped everything that happened. too drunk to remember most of it. but I know it was great.
I'll update with pictures/more detailed infoz sometime in the near future perhaps.
pretty sure no one reads this to care anyway.
k bye!
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[18 Nov 2009|10:26pm] |
so my parents are going away to Florida from the 20th-27th. I cannot begin to comprehend the amount of destruction I will cause.
but aside from that fact, I will miss them of course. I just never thought they'd leave me home alone. and rightfully so.
mmmm.
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[16 Nov 2009|12:08am] |
PostSecret. you always have somethin' for me.
hopefully this week won't be too bad. I had a pretty terrible weekend. well, I guess I shouldn't say that. but it wasn't the best.
Thursday night I drank way too much Sailor Jerry with Dana. ended up puking in my bathroom around 3am. not good. I have a strong hatred for vomiting.
Friday we went to The Saint to watch Mike's band Cicada Radio. went to the Annex afterwards for a party. it was already like 1 so that ended pretty quick there. then we went to the diner and home.
yesterday I had off work which was wonderful for a change. didn't do too much though. went to the movies to see Pirate Radio. it was great minus the fact that it was a bit lengthy. but it was really good. I enjoyed it. and then we went to the Inkwell. had somewhat of an emotional breakdown because I am ~crazy~ but I was okay.
today I just went to work and came home and tried to do some homework. I'm hoping not to get suspended from Middlesex. come on, that's just embarrassing. it's not looking too good right now though.
blah but yeah this week hopefully won't be too bad. I have Thursday to look forward to. dancing and fun things.
that is all for now I suppose.
so long whoever reads this.
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[09 Nov 2009|08:25pm] |
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music |
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Devendra Banhart - Rats |
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this new Devendra Banhart album is so fucking good. Cortney said something really true about it the other day. she said that after a while she doesn't even listen to the words anymore, just the music itself gives off such a good vibe. and it's true. and I think that's why it's so good.
let's see, what have I been doing with myself lately. I don't even really remember. Halloween was kind of a blur. last minute costume was Fonzy. no one knew what I was. probably because the only thing I did was wear jeans and a white t-shirt and a fake leather jacket. the party was fun. didn't get there til 12. danced a bit. drank a bit. more than a bit I suppose. daylight savings occurred. a fight broke out. cops came. ended up at a diner.
my brother called me yesterday. said he might come home for 3 weeks in April. and if he does he wants us to go away somewhere with friends. so if things do work out, I'm super excited for that.
2009 is almost over. crazy, huh? it's been a good year for the most part. met some great people. did fun things. did stupid things. grew a lot as a person.
now I'm just ramblin'
that's all for now. I'll post some pictures of some of my recent ( shenanigans )
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[26 Oct 2009|03:01pm] |
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I'm happy. I really am when I stop to think about it. sometimes I let little things get me so frustrated and let my anxiety get in the way, but I just need to relax.
I'm so glad I have the few good friends that I need.
last night me Cortney and Chris just layed on a sleeping bag on the beach and drank Mad Dog and Sutter Home and it was perfect. it was cold, but perfect.
life is so simple if you let it be.
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[07 Oct 2009|12:43am] |
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today was a good day. I cleaned my room. put new bed sheets on. got a new jacket. went to New Hope with Chris. went to a witch store. ate a quesadilla. drank some wine on a dam. peed outside. got a coffee. did some homework/tried to do some homework. watched the Colbert Report and the Mountain Goats were performing.
yeahhh. going to see Owen in Philly on Thursday. can't waitttt. I haven't been to a show since the free 4th of July Mystic Valley Band/Jenny Lewis show. and Mike Kinsella is some sort of god or something so I know it'll be really good.
my brother is in Fujairah, wherever that is. close to Dubai, I think. but yeah, he's doing good. he probably won't be home til March :\ his 23rd birthday is coming up. <3
October, you're not too shabby so far :)
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[01 Oct 2009|06:05pm] |
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Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band. |
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everything/everyone has been making me so angry lately. I hate it. I don't like being in a shitty mood all the time.
had a quiz in Bio which I probably failed cause I'm an idiot and leave studying til I'm parked in the lot 10 minutes before class. I got pulled over on my way home and got a ticket 5 minutes away from my house today. which added to the shitty-ness of the day.
only good thing is I got some much needed laundry done. and put all my clothes and stuff in my new dresser so I don't have to dig through garbage bags anymore.
ok, bye.
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[30 Sep 2009|11:34pm] |
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music |
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Au Revoir Simone. |
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I miss summer already. it's been getting so cold so fast. I don't like it. I need to move somewhere warm. warm weather keeps me happy. winter makes me so sad.
I need to really try and quit smoking. I've been saying this for so long. I have such shitty will-power. ughhhhh.
also, I need a glass of wine. or 8.
I really hope I go on that hayride tomorrow... I need fun things in my life.
k bye.
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[25 Sep 2009|12:27am] |
it's funny how you think you can know a person so well, and they turn around and prove you wrong. me and Cortney talk about this all the time. you never really know people. they're always going to do things that shock you, make you angry, disappoint you. that's life I guess.
I need to stop wasting my time on people that aren't worth it. I wish I would just realize that from the beginning, but I guess you never do. maybe it isn't always a 'waste.' maybe it's a learning experience. either way, I don't understand how people can be such jerks. does no one have a heart anymore? I don't get it...
this is why I need to get the fuck out of this place. take the few people that I legitimately care about with me, and get the fuck out. I'm almost convinced that there are no good hearted people left around here...
someone please show up and prove me wrong.
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[09 Sep 2009|11:44pm] |
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I started school today. my third year at Middlesex. surprise, surprise. school was never my thing. I wish I was good at something that didn't require me to take shitty classes like Biology. I'm gonna actually have to work this year. I know I say that every year but I really mean it this time. I can't keep failing classes just cause I'm lazy. I dunno, I kind of just want to have a career already. I don't care what it is. I just want to be done with school. is that bad? I don't even know if I really care anymore. seems to me as if I'm never satisfied anyway.
last weekend in August was Field Trip. I had such a good time. I had the opportunity to get completely shitfaced which I of course took advantage of. it was just a really great experience and I'm so glad to have these friends.
I am getting pretty sick of 'partying' in New Brunswick every weekend. there's gotta be somewhere else to go, isn't there? I just feel like all these people have to grow out of it at one point or another. then there are the people that are 30 or over and are still going to college parties. give it up. if I'm 30 and going to New Brunswick parties someone take a knife to my throat, please. I mean don't get me wrong, I have fun most of the time, but I don't want to get stuck in this terrible routine. I feel like there is so much more out there. not that I can do much of it being underage and having strict parents and what not. but there's gotta be more than New Brunswick, that's for sure.
I also honest to God cannot wait to at least finish paying off my credit card so I have some money to put away for an apartment. I know I've written about this so many times but I can't stress it enough. I love my parents to death, I don't know where I'd be without them. yadda yadda yadda. but I just can't live here anymore. I feel so trapped. they think they give me all this freedom. what a joke that is. I'm their baby, they don't want to let me go. I'm a girl and I'm still young. I understand that. but they are just entirely too strict with me. but I can't argue that. it's their house, their rules. which is why I need to get the fuck out. if only I had the funds...
I'll take anything. even a shitty apartment in New Brunswick, as much as I just mentioned being sick of it. I am just itching to get out. I neeeeeed to get out.
it makes me sad to see people that get things handed to them so easily not take advantage of all the opportunities they have. my parents help me out a bit, but for the most part, I can take care of myself. I just don't understand how you can be 20 years old and still expect your parents to buy you clothes and things like that. not trying to offend anyone, not that anyone reads this stupid thing, it's just the way I feel. even when my parents offer me money for clothes or something I just don't feel right taking it. and I'm not just being bitter. I'm grateful that my parents are like that with me because it has taught me to be a lot more responsible. I feel like a lot of kids are going to have NO clue what to do when they go into 'the real world' that isn't their parents home. unless of course mommy and daddy are going to pay for their rent in their new apartment as well.
ugh, I'll just stop ranting.
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[24 Aug 2009|11:49am] |
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welp, summer is slowly coming to an end. the end of summer is always really sad and bittersweet, but I had one of the better summers I've ever had as far as I can remember. I'm content with the new friends I've made. I do miss spending time with my old ones though. mainly Juliann and Courtney. also, I miss Allison. if you happen to read this, let's hang out, please?
I'm bad at writing in this. well, I guess I was never 'good' at it. I never really know what to write. and nothing makes sense because I just type things how I'm thinking them at the moment.
I've been fairly happy lately. and it's a nice change. I'm hoping I stay this way.
I guess I'll end this here.
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[19 Jul 2009|07:49pm] |
man. I really never update this anymore. kinda ... sad in it's own way I guess? hah. I used to update so much when I was younger. honestly, I just keep it around just so I can look back on old entries from time to time. some can either make me really happy or really sad.
it's crazy how much my surroundings have changed in what feels like so little time. I'm enjoying life at the moment, I just feel as if it's moving too fast.
almost got kicked out of my house this week due to me coming home drunk all the time. was so close to leaving til I realized that drinking and breaking my parents heart isn't worth it. so I have decided to quit drinking for the time being. it's gonna be hard I guess. not because I have some sort of alcoholism problem, but because I enjoy doing it and it loosens me up and I have a good time doing it with friends. but I certainly won't let me not drinking stop me from having a good time. that's just silly.
I've met a lot of great people over the past few months. but also feel like I'm losing touch with old friends. not going to give them up that easily though.
so many things I want to start doing. gonna try my hardest to do well in school this semester. as much as I hate school, it doesn't make sense for me to not care about it, because that's just gonna keep me there longer. I also want to start saving more money. I'm really bad at that. hopefully I will quit smoking, which will also save me a good amount of money. want to try and find a nice boy and have a real relationship. not too worried about it though.
this is a lame entry. just trying to write random thoughts down cause my memory seems to get worse and worse each day.
xo.
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[13 Jul 2009|03:11pm] |
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I never asked to be nobody's nothing.
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[25 Jun 2009|08:19pm] |
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[18 Jun 2009|01:57am] |
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i really need to make more time for reading and productive things.
also, it really needs to stop raining. so sick of it.
i've been having so many days off work lately which is nice to go out and do things but it's not so nice when i get my paycheck and it's half of what i usually get :\ hate paying bills.
tonight is a lonely night.
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[29 May 2009|01:52am] |
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i am always neglecting livejournal boohoo.
i wish i remembered what i do with my life so i could update about it. but i don't. it's been kind of a blur. but a pretty good blur i think. no real complaints.
going to atlantic city for cortney's 21st birthday tomorrow. should be excellent. so many drunken good times.
i've had the past couple days off from work and it feels so nice. going to be so broke though but it was a nice little vacation. not gonna be fun going back on monday.
that's all i suppose.
hasta la vista.
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